Chick-Fil-A: Mess of Greasy Fried Chicken

by Bob Murl Bearden

‎Chick-fil-A what a mess of greasy fried chicken that is. First of all this whole controversy over the owner of Chick-fil-A’s public stance on gays and gay marriage is stupid. Gays and gay marriages are here to stay and there is nothing untold about either that should be protested. Gays are just as human and humane as any other American citizen. Actually, gays are more likely to be good citizens and strongly pro-American than almost any other segment of our population. Gay partners make better parents and tend to stay together a lot longer than heterosexuals.

These right-wing evangelicals need to really go back to the basics and read the Bible they so like to quote from and mostly out of context and often incorrectly. The same book they cite for the abomination of homosexuality tells them to stone their children to death, not to eat pigs or shellfish nor commit adultery, all on penalty of death. So most of these instant devout Christian gay haters would more than likely be dead already if they really tried to follow the Bible as literally as they want to take one passage out of many and say this is God’s Law.

God didn’t write the Bible and I believe it likely that if he really paid any attention to a lot of the passages from said Bible he would think anyone who believed and followed it to be insane. If you took the Bible literally and every passage of it thereto you would soon be driven insane. Which, perhaps explains a lot about certain people and their religious convictions and their capacity to hate.

Back to Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A is a monumental scam, just like Buffalo wings. For years, nobody liked or wanted or even ate chicken wings. They were often the last piece of chicken on the plate at dinner and got thrown out or tossed to the dogs. Then suddenly someone came up the idea of calling them not chicken wings, but of all things buffalo wings and cheez Louise they became an overnight sensation. People eat them by the bucket full, simply because it’s the in-thing to do these days. They open sports bars and sell chicken wings made 909 different ways and people gobble them up. Chicken wings are still chicken wings and buffaloes don’t fly and never did. But tell that to the latest coming of age sports freak. They don’t care it’s what’s happening now, dude!

Chick-fil-A has been around shopping malls for decadesm languishing in little out-of-the-way corners selling greasy chicken sandwiches to hieing rushing busy shoppers and the millions of nothing else to do with their summer teenage haunters. Along comes a guy who hates gays and professes to be a born-again God-fearing, Leviticus quoting chicken sandwich greasy messy chicken plucking guy who gets the bright idea to go the way of Buffalo Wings and mass market a dumpy almost forgotten fried chicken franchise and viola! Out of apathy and chaos is born Chick-fil-A (or perhaps I should say re-born making it even more appealing to chicken loving born again Christians especially of the Southern variety). Suddenly Chick-fil-A is the next coming thing and the place to be if you want to protest gay marriage.

A marriage made in Leviticus Heaven one might say. Mike Huckabee that Southern Fried Huckster of a preacher gone politico, country singing evangelical organizer and the re-born again Chick-fil-A chicken franchise. As Pat Robertson might say, “God knew what he wanted and he got it!” Who knew that mass marketing of a messy greasy fried chicken sandwich would one day be joined arm in arm with a bunch of right-wing gay bashers?

Yeah, what about them Bible thumping hate baiting self-possessed Christian right-wing bigots. They who revel in sighting just one passage in their most beloved of Bible books Leviticus leaving out a whole treasure trove of other sins for which pretty much our entire nation is guilty of in one way or another. You know those
adulterers, pig eaters, tasty crustacean lovers, or bad children stoners. Why ain’t all them guys dead? What about the abomination of eating a pig or a lobster? Ah, can’t answer that one while your mouth is full of greasy fried chicken, huh?” —– Bob Bearden


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