Obama Re-elected. Rove, Robertson and Romney Stunned.

Bob Murl Bearden

The outcome of the election was stunning. Not for me–I believed Barack Obama would be re-elected–but for Karl Rove, Pat Robertson and Mitt Romney; they were stunned. They could not believe their eyes or the polls.

UtterlyStunned-41603For one, it was particularly overwhelming. Pat Robertson has long talked with God and God has long told Pat exactly what was going to happen. He has passed on many words from God, so he was literally at a loss for words when God somehow by-passed him and left him out of the loop on election night. Pat allowed he just couldn’t figure out why God had lied to him. He had spoken with God right up to election day and God had told him how it would turn out. Whoa! Has God abandoned Pat? Forsooth, say it ain’t so, God! Say it ain’t so!

And there was nothing more flabbergasting to see than Karl Rove on election night having a meltdown on the air when his beloved Fox News called Ohio for Obama and thus with Ohio the election. “It ain’t so! It just ain’t so!” The oracle of the Bush White House lashed out at the Fox News anchors. “You got it wrong!” Well, for the venerated CAT-SHOCKED‘Turd Blossom’ it was a long night. Then came the next day and his debacle deepened. He had as Ricky might have intoned to Lucy, ‘a lot of splanin’ to do’. Mostly to the rich millionaire cranky old white guys who he had conned into bankrolling him to the tune of $364 million dollars which he had tossed into the mix ala Citizens United and which produced a return on their investments of zero, nada, zilch! He do have some ‘splanin’ to do’!

And then there was Mitt Romney confidently striding into the polling booth on election day secure in the knowledge that Karl Rove and his expert campaign advisors were spot on when they told him he had absolutely nothing to worry about–he was as good as elected, because all the polls were wrong and their internal polling was the way it would go. Then he waited so long for Karl to give him the good word that he had won in Ohio, even lingering after all the networks and news outlets had called Ohio and the election for Barack. He didn’t give up ’cause he knew he was right; only he wasn’t. And stunned, he finally had the good sense to call Barack and concede and congratulate him on his re-election.

15xw914743Mitt became so despondent that he was seen a couple of days later actually pumping his own gas! That had to be a bummer! Then, as reality set in–and he knew that though he tried mightily he would be denied the one house purchase that he craved more than any other, the White House–he went into a deep funk and canceled Thanksgiving for himself and his family!

Rumors abounded (with no evidence to support them) that Mitt had put out a hit on Dick Morris who had opined in the days before the election on Mitt’s beloved Fox News that Mitt would win in a landslide. Rumors have recently surfaced that Morris would soon be opening his own clown school. That would certainly make sense for he definitely has the accreditation for it.

Things now seem almost back to normal at least for Mitt and Pat Robertson. Mitt at least got to lunch in the White House with Barack at a no reporters allowed private meal. Pat on the other has seemingly shrugged off the fact that God stopped communicating with him prior to the election and is carrying on as if nothing happened and God is still speaking. Well, maybe not directly to Pat but he’s getting some sort of vibes from somewhere. Whether it’s coming from God or not; only Pat knows for sure and he isn’t telling.

Karl Rove on the other hand hasn’t been seen in polite society as of late. The story goes that there are a bunch of Cranky Old White Guys looking to recoup the millions he bilked from them in the name of expertise by each getting a piece of old ‘Turd Blossom’s’ hide. Whether that is true only Karl knows for sure and since he isn’t speaking to anyone these days we will just have to speculate on that one!

You know, John Denver was right when he said, “Some days are diamonds, some days are stone!” For me, diamond days abound; for Karl, Pat and Mitt, I would say their days might be more stone than anything else! Ah well, can’t be right all of the time–even when you believe you speak with God on a regular basis. Like Mark Twain said, “Any fool who believes God speaks to him has a lot to learn!” —– Bob Bearden


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