Mike Huckabee who will soon likely be just a forgotten blip in the 2016 race for the GOP nomination to run for president, gets weirder and weirder and he starts to sound more and more like Sarah Palin whose pronouncements always create a stir in the news media, because they seldom know what the hell she is saying (I have always suspected she doesn’t either, most of the time) and they always spend time on news talk shows debating what they think she may have said.

Huckabee whose star quality as a country gospel singer has tanked and it seems like the Donald he makes an effort to disrespect as many different groups as he possibly can. His rant against Native Americans apparently has silenced his long time love slave Chuck Norris, who is part Cherokee Indian and who this time around we haven’t heard any love calls for Mike from Chuck.

Huckabee went on Morning Joe to rant about same-sex marriage being an abomination and suddenly found himself stuck in neutral and unable to answer any questions posed to him. He then did the Donald punt (without much success) and simply went off on a tangent rewriting the Bible in the process so that he could make his point against same-sex marriages. When it was pointed out to him that Jesus never spoke about gays or their marrying each other he tried to flim-flam his way out of a deep hole he had settled into by going against the advice of that sage of Oklahoma Will Rogers who once noted, “When you find yourself in a hole stop digging!”

Mike just couldn’t do that so desperate he is for face time on TV he just kept digging himself in a deeper hole. When the segment ended he stood there smiling waiting til the cameras shifted to wipe the excess egg off of his face. You know when politicians start answering questions with questions of their own that they are searching desperately for a way to not answer.

He tried to the shift the narrative away from the question of divorce of which Jesus spoke often about in his teachings by saying well the law of the land permits divorce and we must obey the law of the land. Well except for the Mike Huckabee’s and the Kim Davis’ when it violates their religious convictions. Ah yes, if it violates their religious convictions it’s a law that they don’t have to adhere to or follow. They want a kings-ex on which law they will follow and which law they choose to ignore.

It’s a case of if it violates Kim Davis’s and Mike Huckabee’s religious convictions it can’t be followed, but if it violates say mine or your religious convictions then as Jonathan Winters used to say, “Tough sh*t”! Or for his polite audience “Tough Stuff!” It’s so nice that certain religious believers are allowed the right to pick and chose which Old Testament passages they want to follow.

But the devil be damned if in that same scripture a couple of paragraphs down it says if you commit adultery you are to be stoned. That part well we don’t have to follow that part because it’s the law of the land and we have to follow the law of the land sayeth Mike Huckabee, except when he don’t! Just the part that says, if a man lies with another man they should be stoned.

But hey these evangelical born-again sinners could just be reading that passage in the wrong context. If you look at it another way you might be able to not only justify same-sex marriage but also the use of marijuana. Wouldn’t that frost their potatoes if all of this time they have been reading it wrong?

Mike Huckabee is an opportunist and he was so desperate to hog the spotlight when they released Kim Davis from jail that he had one of his henchmen keep Ted Cruz from joining in the happy little throng celebrating Kim’s Martyrdom. Does that not violate one of God’s laws? Love thy neighbor? Well love among the GOP gaggle of geese that make up the Nightmares on Elm Street candidates running for president is all that rampant especially when it comes to hogging the spotlight when you are down amid the ruins of the also-rans.

Bob Bearden


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